


Only Humans Feel Like You

by GlitteringKitten



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-18
Updated: 2014-09-18
Packaged: 2018-02-17 21:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2324345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitteringKitten/pseuds/GlitteringKitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Duo is night time chatterbox who really, just wants to get to know Heero better; Heero just wants to sleep. One question sparks an interest though - and Duo wishes he'd never asked it. Yet he's Heero's friend, and wants to help - regardless of how much it might break his own heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Humans Feel Like You

**Author's Note:**

> The summary barely does anything to this story. I honestly don't know how else to describe it. It's a get-together fic; with the usual miscommunication that happens so often with these two.

“Heero,” Duo twisted in his bed, looking across the room to the other boy, trying to figure out if he was asleep. He knew already that he wouldn’t be, Heero never slept, but Duo liked to try to act as if he didn’t know that. The other boy wasn’t stupid, however, and often gave no indication that he was awake whenever Duo called. Which always led to Duo talking to him in the dark until he finally told him to be quiet. Or worse, let him talk himself to sleep.

“Heero?” The other boy shifted slightly, turning his back to Duo. A small smile crossed Duo’s lips; that was a perfect indication that he’d heard, as he never normally moved at all in his ‘sleep’. “Heero, I know you’re awake. I mean. I assume you are.” No response. “Well… if you’re not awake, it’s ok, because I don’t imagine you’d want to talk about what I’m going to say anyway.” A small twitch of the bedclothes as Heero shuffled closer to the wall, almost as if to block out whatever Duo was saying.

“You know Trowa and Quatre? I think they’re… you know. Involved.” Duo hung his leg over the edge of the bed, getting more comfortable. “I mean, I don’t think they’re in that room in separate beds you know?” He looked at Heero, trying to see if there was any reaction. Nope. Not even a movement. For a second he began to wonder if he’d been wrong about the other boy being awake. “I was just wondering what you thought about it. You know. Them… getting together. Would it be detrimental to the mission? That kind of thing. But then,” Duo quickly changed track. “I suppose for you it’s different, you don’t really have… that kind of care for other people. Maybe you don’t get what I mean at all.” He frowned, thinking over what he’d just said, “That’d be a shame. I’d hate to think you’ll never fall in love. It’s wonderful. I mean, it’s heart-wrenching and painful, but at the same time it’s beautiful and perfect - and I can’t imagine life without it. That feeling you get when you see someone, just for the first time, and think, you’re the one.”

Heero shuffled in his bed a little, moving the bed sheet down past his ears so he could properly listen to the other boy’s general chatter. Duo could see his ear sticking over the top, revealed only a little by the rough hair that surrounded his face. Silently, he wondered what it’d be like to touch that hair - really touch it - but he knew better than to go near the other boy physically. Too many attempts at that and he might end up losing an arm. Although he hadn’t yet, which was a good sign.

“Or maybe I’m missing out something,” he mused, watching for any further reactions, “Maybe you’ve already had that feeling. Maybe you just don’t know what it is. When you see Relena-”

“Shut up, will you? I’m trying to sleep.” And that, Duo decided, was that. The conversation wasn’t going to get any further - not that night. The word Relena generally became the magic word to encourage Heero to respond in those conversations, but the anger in his tone made Duo wonder whether he’d hit a nerve. It was possible. Snuggling down under his quilt, Duo sighed. Such a pity, all the beautiful guys were straight. Or taken. But mostly straight.

~~~  
  
The following day, Heero was in a foul mood. Not that it was unusual, but Duo could see this was a different kind of foul mood. Normally when he was in a foul mood, Heero would strategize, work out plans, hack into software - be productive with his extra energy. Snap at Duo and order Quatre around. (Never Trowa, the two boys noticed, because he just ignored him. Quatre put it down to a lack of fear of the other boy, and Duo put it down to sheer stupidity.) But that wasn’t the case on this day. This day, he spent all day locked in his Gundam, breaking things and fixing them.

"You know, that’s not the best idea, Heero.” Duo pointed out as he pulled the inner wiring out and began to untie the cables. A spanner narrowly missed his head and he held back a laugh. “PMS much?” Heero’s face appeared out of the cockpit and shot him a dark, angry glare.

“Well if someone hadn’t kept me up all night with their stupid chattering, I’d have slept.”

“Oh pull the other one, it’s got bells on.” Duo remarked, climbing off the machine, braid flying down behind him. “You’re just pissed because I worked out your thing for Relena.” A hammer flew down at him, followed by a set of spark plugs, a few cables and an empty yoghurt carton. Which wasn’t as empty as Duo had first thought. The dregs speckled against his black clothes, creating a disgusting looking stain all the way across the front. “Geez, remind me never to try to get to know your inner workings again.”

“Just go away.” The words were followed by the slam of the cockpit, and Duo sighed, examining the stain. At least there was evidence that Heero was still human underneath all that soldiery, having hissy fits like the next hormonal teenager. Falling in love with unavailable people - oh yeah, he was definitely a real human. Only humans were that stupid.

~~~

“Duo, have… you had an accident?” Quatre asked as Duo headed past him into the laundry room, turning on his heels to follow him. Duo laughed and shook his head.

“No, Quatre. And I assure you, I don’t plan on having one either.” He gave the other boy a sly smile, “But I bet you’d know how to get it out if I did, wouldn’t you? Stains on the bed sheet…” Quatre started to turn slightly red, quickly regaining composure and hitting him with the tea towel he was folding.

“Duo, you’re a teenager. You know as well as I do what happens.”

“Yeah, but normally I don’t have anyone giving me a helping hand…” The flush on Quatre’s cheeks returned, and Duo found himself being beaten by the towel again as he tried to take his top off. “Ow, jeez, just a joke. God, it’s bad enough that I’ve had Heero having a hissy fit at me today, let alone having my best friend attack me.” Quatre laughed, putting the tea-towel down, helping him put the washing machine on. Duo began searching around the piles of folded clothes for a replacement top, finding one of Heero’s t-shirts and pulling it over his head.

“That’s nothing new; Heero’s always annoyed with you - the question is what have you done to deserve it this time?” The blonde asked, leaning against the counter. Duo jumped up on the side and shook his head.

“Nothing new. Just… you know. Relena.” He rolled his eyes, then smiled, changing subject. “So, am I right about you and Trowa?” Quatre looked at his nails, trying not to meet the other boy’s eyes. “I am! That’s fantastic, Quatre. I mean…” He shrugged, leaning back aginst the wall, “It’s nice to know that even in times of war, people are still doing the same old human things; falling in love, going out, having sex-” Quatre’s face flushed again and he shot Duo an annoyed look.

“We’re not _there_ yet. We’ve only… I mean. Look… it’s all new. Just… don’t say anything to the others ok?” A guilty look crossed Duo’s face as he began to rummage through the old boxes of detergent. “What?”

“Well… that’s kind of what pissed Heero off.” He quickly corrected himself, seeing the horror on Quatre‘s face, “I mean - not you guys. But I was talking about love… and stuff. And I said about you guys maybe being together, and then asked him if he even knew how to feel… love, like that. And then I mentioned Relena and he just… clammed up.”

“You mean he was talking?” Duo laughed and shook his head, turning a blue plastic scoop over in his fingers.

“Come off it, Q. When have you ever know him to talk without a mission statement being involved? I mean, he might’ve been listening, but he wasn’t involved. And then I mention _her_ and he’s all protective and anti-talk. I mean, more so than normal. He’s got it bad for her, I think.” He sighed, shaking his head, “Typical. I always fall for guys that can’t… return what I feel.”

"Duo…” Quatre reached over to him, touching him on the knee, his sadness for the other boy flickering across his face like ripples on water. Duo shrugged, climbing down and heading towards the kitchen, his speed only just matched by the blonde.

“It’s-” Quatre started, trying to think of something both reassuring and true to say to him. It was obvious to them both how much Relena cared for Heero, she’d travelled across the universe for him; even after he’d tried to kill her. If he wanted her, she was more than just willing - and with her status being as it was, there was no way he’d manage to keep out of the papers if he started a relationship with her. Celebrity culture had never really disappeared, and everyone was interested in the lives of the rich and famous - especially ones that had some say over how the world was run. If they became a couple, Duo would have to face their photos everywhere; not merely in newspapers, but also on the television, any special meetings about country rulings - his life would be forever intertwined with theirs; Gundam pilot or otherwise. And, though he loathed to admit it, both of them knew he could never just leave the brown-haired pilot and never see him again. Heero meant too much to him, even as just a friend.

“Hey, don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll find someone.” Duo smiled, taking a box of cookies from the shelf, “I’m only 15, it’s not like it’s the end of the world.” He hesitated, and then added, “and if it is the end of the world, you know, with the war, then at least I don’t have to live with it afterwards?”

“Don’t say things like that!” Quatre scolded, taking the box and putting it away before Duo could begin to dig in. He took some salad out of the fridge and put it in the brunette’s hands instead, giving him a scornful look. “And don’t think for one second I don’t know you’re trying to laugh it off.” He softened slightly, “You really like him, Duo. I know that. We all know that. I just… didn’t realize that he didn’t.”

“Sometimes he can be the most unobservant bloke around. Not a good trait in a pilot.” Duo commented, dryly, picking awkwardly at the salad. “But sometimes it’s easier to ignore the things that will just make things awkward, isn’t it? I guess… he’s just ignoring me and my feelings. Too focused on her.” He sighed, putting the bowl on the side, appetite disappearing. “Guess I’m no better though. Maybe I should… give him a hand. He’s my friend, right? I should… be trying to help him out in these situations. He doesn’t know the first thing about falling in love and I should help him.” Determination appeared on his face, and Quatre gave him an exasperated look.

“Duo, don’t be foolish, will you?”

“He’s my friend. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t… give him a helping hand? Besides,” Duo shrugged and played with a piece of lettuce from the bowl, “I want him to be happy.” Quatre watched as he headed towards the door, rubbing his forehead, already feeling a headache appearing.

“He’s wrong, you know.” The sound of Trowa’s voice from the table shocked the blonde, and he flushed. They’d both been so involved in their conversation that neither of them had noticed Trowa in the room. Quatre joined him at the table, taking the salad with him to pick at.

“He is?” Trowa nodded, a small smile crossing his lips as Quatre tried to feed him a carrot, batting it away. “How so?”

“Heero is interested in someone… but it’s not Relena.” Trowa bit the carrot, green eyes peering out from under his hair to meet Quatre’s. “A little closer to home.” He reached up with a finger to stroke Quatre’s cheek, a soft blush tainting the blonde’s skin as he did so.

“Closer to home… oh…” he followed Trowa’s eyes to the door, understanding immediately, a smile of relief covering his face, and Trowa laughed softly, enjoying the different emotions coming so clearly from the other boy. He reached across the table again and pressed a soft kiss to the blonde’s lips, taking him by surprise. Quatre flushed, and Trowa whispered softly to him, words barely audible, lips still gently touching the blonde’s.

“Let’s go for a walk, hmm?” Quatre nodded, getting up quickly and leading the taller boy out of the room, the salad bowl left on the table, forgotten.

~~~

That evening, Duo returned to their bedroom with an idea in mind. His plan was to get Heero to make a move on Relena. Whether it be obvious or not, he was determined to get Heero to admit his feelings, even if it hurt himself in the process. So he was quite happy to find Heero lying in bed when he returned to their room, although it was a surprise - as the other boy normally worked until quite late and then would try to sneak in without waking him. Not that it ever worked, he could always sense when Heero entered the room, like some internal Heero-radar that stole his attention whenever he moved. Plus, he always worried about the other boy - staying up so late, and barely sleeping, it was bound to cause problems with the mission, surely? But he’d yet to see any problems in Heero’s work, so he assumed he must’ve slept at other times. Maybe when he was in the cockpit allegedly working.

“Hey Heero…” Duo waited, trying to judge what kind of mood the other boy was in. He didn’t want a repeat of earlier, especially if he was trying to get him to admit something so private.

“You’re wearing my top.” There was no annoyance in his voice, just confusion, his dark blue eyes roaming over the top half of Duo’s body, trying to understand the situation. “Why?”

“You got yoghurt on my other one.” Duo refrained from making a point about how stressy the other boy had been earlier, biting his tongue and sitting on the edge of his bed. “Hope that’s ok.”

“Looks…good on you.” The words came out awkwardly, as if he wasn’t sure if he was pronouncing them right. Duo had to hold back a laugh, but couldn’t help the smile that escaped. Heero’s eyebrow twitched, and he stared up at the ceiling, no longer looking at the braided-boy.

“I’m sorry. About earlier.” He started, the dialogue sounding slightly rehearsed. Duo was surprised, he’d barely ever heard Heero apologize for anything. Curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to let Heero take control of the conversation, bypassing his need to find out more about his crush on Relena.

“That’s ok. We all have bad days. When we don’t sleep.”

“I never sleep.” Heero stated, shooting Duo a cold look. The braided-haired boy got up and sat down on Heero’s bed, reaching across to touch him on the leg, reassuring him.

“I know.”  

“I can’t sleep unless I feel safe.” The words had an apologetic edge, as if to explain his behaviour, like a small child telling someone they didn’t mean to break something - but it just happened. “I only feel safe in my Gundam. But… I want to feel safe. Around you.” There was a pause, as if Heero wasn’t sure that’s what he had meant to say, and he added, “Around you all.  We’re on the same side. I should trust you not to betray me.”

“But you can’t. I get that.” Duo shifted backwards on the bed, sitting so he could lean against the wall beside the bed, see Heero’s face clearly. The dark-haired boy moved his legs, accommodating his movement, trying not to look too uncomfortable when Duo pulled them across his lap, locking them into a comforting position, like two friends. He ran his hand across the smooth skin of Heero’s legs, up to where his spandex began, surprised that he was allowed to get so close without being decked. He could see it was taking everything in Heero not to react, and stopped, just resting his hands on the other boy’s knees.

“Do you think I’m unfeeling, Duo?” The question came suddenly, and Duo wasn’t quite sure how to answer. Finally, he decided honesty was the best policy and nodded, fingers drawing circles on the other boy’s skin.

“Sometimes? Yeah. You’ve got… such concentration, determination for your mission that sometimes I wonder if you’re really… human in there. But then,” he smiled, trying not to laugh, “Then you throw hissy fits like a little child and I remember that you’re just like the rest of us. An orphan who just… copes with things in his own way. Doesn’t know any more about life than the rest of us.” He shrugged. “But you’ve led such a different life to the rest of us - so singular, so… lonely. You know. I bet you’ve only ever had cold facts about things like sex and romance… God, I can’t imagine Dr J trying to teach you about love. Old Hook-Eye trying to tell you about falling in love?” Duo laughed, shaking his head again, hands subconsciously running down Heero’s leg.

“He tried.” Heero stated, quietly, eyes watching as Duo made himself more comfortable. “He tried to explain, but I don’t think he… got it. But… I do. I get it. I get falling in love. I get the rollercoaster that goes with it - when you can feel one minute you want nothing more than to …tell them, and then….seconds later you want to keep it to yourself forever.” He shifted, crossing his legs and staring up at the ceiling again. “I do care about people, Duo.”

“I know you do, buddy. I know.” Duo sighed, taking his hands away from the other boy’s legs, drawing his own up as best he could, still trying to remain connected to him. “I was being a bit… harsh last night. I’m sorry. You and Relena-”

“Not her.” Heero stated, sitting up suddenly, . He rested on his elbows, looking at Duo, trying to convey how much he wanted Duo to understand. “I only care about her because she’s going to change things. Her life is important. I can’t… I have to keep her alive. I see that now.” He looked at the wall, avoiding Duo’s stare, “But there is… someone.”

“No kidding. There always is,” Duo muttered, shaking his head and looking at Heero’s laces. The words were quiet enough for only himself to hear, though Heero could see them forming in his mouth, read his lips. He frowned, not sure he understood the relation of what he’d said to what Duo had muttered. A smile broke out on Duo’s face, and he turned to the other boy, no indication of disappointment showing on his features at all - except Heero had already seen the disappointment, so there was no reason to hide it.

“So. Who is it? Or is it a secret?” His smile widened, joined with a wink and a nudge. “I’ll help you out. I’m good with the ladies.” Heero raised an eyebrow, lips curling a little, almost to a smile.

“I’ve never seen you with any.” For a second Duo looked shocked, then held his chest in a mocking fashion, laughing.

“Ouch, wound my pride why don’t you? Straight for the heart. And I thought I was going to help you out…” He tugged at Heero’s leg, giving him a bit of a push. “Besides. I’ve got Hilde. I don’t need any other girl - she’s more than enough, believe me.” He rolled his eyes, pushing back his fringe. Heero moved his legs, swinging them sideways and sitting up properly, shoulder resting against Duo’s comfortably.

“You and Hilde?” He paused, “Are you…”

“No. She’s… intense. Too intense. She’s not my type. She wants to be, I know. But,” Duo sighed, putting his face in his hands and rested them against his knees. “… she just can’t be.” He peered over the edge of his shoulder and smiled sympathetically. “Anyway. We were talking about you - wait, it’s not Hilde is it? I mean, I could talk to her if you  want?”

“It’s … not Hilde.” Heero took hold of the end of Duo’s hair, blowing it gently, a slightly confused look over his  face. “Do you think Trowa and Quatre will last?” 

“You were listening last night then?” 

“I caught them two weeks ago in the bathroom.” Duo’s mouth dropped and he just stared at the other boy. After a few minutes, he grabbed hold of Heero’s arm and tugged him, hard, making him fall towards him.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” He shook the stunned pilot with every word, trying to shake sense into him. Heero stared back at him, eyes wide with shock. Duo sighed dramatically and let the other boy go. “Jeez, Heero, what kind of a guy are you? You see things like that and don’t tell anyone - are you completely devoid of any logical thoughts? That’s gossip. People need to know that kind of thing. Me, at least  - your best friend. You should tell me these things. We are friends, right?”

“…yes…”

“And I tell you everything, right?”

“No.” Heero stated, pulling back a little, leaning back against the wall again. “No, you don’t.” An uneasy silence fell between them, Heero still gently  tugging on the end of Duo’s braid, while the other boy tried to get comfortable, absorbing the words. After a second or two, he began to shift from position to position, restless.

“What don’t I tell you? What is it you want me to admit?” He stared at the other boy, lips tightening a little at the accusation that he wasn’t completely honest. “C’mon, Heero. You wouldn’t say that unless you knew I was holding out on you. What is it I’ve not told you?”

“…You like someone. I can tell. You get… emotional and upset and won’t explain why. You turn from being happy one second to moody the next just by staring into space. There’s someone - and something - on your mind. And I don’t know who. I feel,” Heero dropped the end of Duo’s braid, leaning forwards on his knees, “that as your friend, you should feel able to tell me. You’ve told Quatre. I know you have. You talk about it, quietly, in the kitchen at night. I hear you leave to go to talk to him. I followed you once.”

“You followed me?”

“I was worried about you.” The words hung in the air softly, an admission of care from the stoic boy that Duo hadn’t expected; couldn’t react to. He could feel the other boy’s eyes boring a hole through his skull, trying to read his thoughts; even opened his mouth to talk - but nothing came out. Heero had rendered him speechless. Finally a smile started to cross his face, and Duo began to chuckle to himself, trying not to, but unable to resist. Heero’s eyebrows met in the middle as he frowned, reaching out a hand to push the other boy, tell him to stop. Duo caught it and held it still as he continued to laugh, ripples of humour dancing over his body in a way unlike anything Heero had ever seen. Finally, he calmed down enough to talk again.

"Sorry -” his voice was slightly out of breath, laughter still dancing between his words, “but… you were worried about me.” The statement didn’t seem any more merry or amusing than when Heero had said it.

“What?” Heero attempted to retrieve his hand from Duo’s grasp, only to find the other boy pulling on it, playing with the flesh of his fingers, as though he’d never been able to get that close before - mostly because he hadn’t. After a few more seconds of quiet laughter, he let Heero’s hand go, not quite looking up to meet his eyes.

“I - that’s not funny. I know. I’m sorry.” He looked up and shot a perfectly acceptable smile at the other boy, then looked down, examining at his own hands. “Heero… if I told you, you’d probably never talk to me again. I don’t know if I can live with that.” A snort came from the other boy, and Duo looked up, surprised to see disbelief on Heero’s face.

“When has my not talking to you ever stopped you bugging me in the past?” The dry comment made Duo smile again, wryly, meeting his eyes. “Duo … tell me.” The smile faltered.

“You’re not going to like it.” The stare he got in response was more explanatory to him than any words, and he sighed, shutting his eyes and nodding slowly. “Ok. It’s you.”

With his eyes shut, he couldn’t see Heero’s reaction, missed the turn up of Heero’s lips, the small flush that covered his cheeks. He heard the sounds of rustling bed sheets, expected to feel a sudden emptiness beside him, to hear the door slam, or to get a string of inevitable questions. He didn’t expect Heero’s hands to reach out and touch his arm, take him by the elbow, pull him closer, press fingertips to his cheeks and lips to his own. Especially not that. The shock made him back his head back onto the wall, banging it in surprise.

“Duo-” Instantly the hand on his cheek was around the back of his head, gently rubbing the spot where he’d hit the wall. Gentle pressure around the area softened the pain, and Duo could see, close up, how concerned the other boy was.

“You were worried about me.” He reiterated, voice hollow, surprised at how gentle the other boy was being.

“I care about you, Duo.” Fingertips moved from the back of Duo’s head to his cheek again, stroking it, moving across to brush his lip, two dark, almost empty blue eyes staring into Duo’s own violet tinted ones. A smile on his face matched the brunette boy’s, and for a moment, all he could see was himself reflected in Heero’s eyes - seeing himself through the darkness and finding the real value of love there. Duo smiled and relaxed as Heero moved forwards, just enough to indicate what he was going to do - this time, with his eyes open and with full permission. With hesitation, Duo echoed the movement, pressing his lips against the other boy’s with a gentle, delicate kiss that refused to turn into anything stronger.

“You… look really good in my clothes.” Heero stated, as they broke apart, and Duo couldn’t help himself; he started to smile and replied without thinking.

"I look really good out of your clothes too.” The short haired boy stared at him for a moment, then smirked and nodded.

“I bet you do.” And then he kissed the long-haired boy again, not giving him time to react to the words, fingers creeping up through his dark hair and along the edge of his top - just about touching the skin underneath before Duo pulled away again.

“Jeez, Heero -”

“Duo?” Heero’s voice turned slightly sour, annoyed, and Duo worried for a second that he’d changed his mind, “Shut up, will you?” And with that, he kissed him again - and this time, Duo didn’t pull away.  



End file.
